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I have these days; that I start by listening to a pump out song (Dunno "Wake me up" by Avicii like for instance works, shuddup <.>!!!), days which I barely sit down to watch a video or just chat; these days I play games, do things that require my attention, etc.

And then there are days that I kinda forget to get a pump out song and I get more sleepy, I put a video on youtube to like learn a subject or some of my fave youtubers then somehow I get more sleepy (and even I sometimes fall asleep cuz so boring, omg!).

The situation is reverted if someone messages me and then I get more active, and if I get more active and I put a pump out song I can revert my lazyness!

It's silly and dorky I know, I should not relax in front of the PC and fall asleep while watching a youtube video (Or anything at all). But hnggggggggg I'm too lazy sometimes!!

Like I need someone that slaps me in the face and tell me to work or be more active here. I do lots of things when online and on the PC, and honestly? Other than appointments, chores, 'exercise', etc, I don't go outside on my own for no reason. Cuz there's no reason. Being on 'a virtually small town' where you need a lot of money to go to the center of the town and do anything, doesn't help. And the matter of fact is that the general population of my similar age 'are in other thing'; that I don't share interests. And I won't 'drink alcohol and talk about sex' just to 'fit in'. I won't, don't like, is not what I want.

Being online just brings the best out of me (Still omg I have bad things I know! I want to improve!). But ahh don't think I'm a creepy basement dweller haha, I live in front of the river in a promenade of sorts, and I get view of it as my PC is on an open space.

Hey, the idea of actually not having any sort of electrical equipment of distraction on my bedroom IS A GOOD IDEA. Bedroom is bedroom, you go there to sleep. If you're a child or something you can use your place to play with toys etc. (Not like kids nowadays have toys <.> )
And it's been said many times that having a TV or your PC on the bedroom just hurts you.
There are some reasons why I fall asleep easily when on the bedroom (Except; and I quote, except if I go to sleep with many thoughts on my mind, if I don't solve these thoughts I keep thinking 'bout them for a long time! But eventually I fall asleep |3 )

I can name them; bedroom has soothing light colors (Namely, just light sky blue, not too light but more on the blue side, as to not distract you), good night lighting (Not completely darky sadly, but it works), and yes, there are some annoying noises from the restaurant that's next door (Whose kitchen is on the other side of the wall!). I got kinda used to it so it doesn't bother too much; (Tho I'm at the point that if there's no noise at all I get nervous and actually find harder to sleep, lel ~)  

And in any caseee!! If I want to sleep easily I can just grab a magazine or a book; bam, 10-15 minutes of read are enough to make me sleepy, unfortunate consecuence of being used to a "read before sleep" behaviour when I was younger. (Which also means that if I read a book or a magazine I fall asleep easily if I am not like being straight on a chair like on when I was at elementary school).

And then I see some friends have the insomnia, horrible sleep schedules (Mine is far from perfect on vacations, <.>!!!! ) or whatever due to stress. How lucky I am to have parents that worry!

Going to sleep while you have tons of things to do, worried for life, awful job, bad life in general etc, does give you insomnia, bad life. It doesn't mean you can try to fix it righto?  I tell 'em; "Well, you could try to give yourself a goal, an objective of why you're doing this, so you know that maybe you're suffering or having a good time, but for a good cause that will pay off in the end".

Many don't understand that having a goal/objective in life that hints you the direction you have to go is very important; otherwise like you're going around like a chicken without a head not knowing what to do and just living without foreseeing, which is bad honestly.

Yes you may live the "now", but if you live the "now" by spending all the money you get and not saving at least a bit, what you think might happen in the future? Better foresee some things.

And for me? I am being hypocritical; I don't have a goal in life. I am doing things without knowing what lies ahead, just living the now. Because as I said before, I "am to be here" finish studies and just work for dunno what. Maybe if I get someone to love I could, even on the internetz. Oh but why care for myself? There are others that I should care for!
There are some that hate me and I have to wait out the timeout, the 'turns' or for the relationship bar to recover like it happens on the Sims.

I guess for some the long life relationship bar got to like -40 or something, and maybe the short term one is at -60, and it might 'recover' towards 0 after an unindetermined amount of time that may be fastened or slowed depending on some factors that I may or may not know.

I dunno if I reached the "I want to kill you" point of things with anyone, maybe to the "holy hell I hate you so much I will block you instead of reasoning or talking because I can't tolerate any mistake and I like to be dramatic".
Definitely the last one lol, specially to the guy that I don't mention and for whose reason I was forced to leave a group chat on skype (I want to let him 'recover relationship bar faster' by gtfo there so he doesn't think to me and eventually and magically he 'would approach me' like some friends said there)...
Heh perhaps the balloony friend that said that "I'm a horrible friend" and stuck to that belief because his other friend told him to, just have the relationship bar at like -80 or something.
Like for no reason. I feel many things that happen are absolutely silly and not worth having a bad day for!

Yet I have a bad day for certain things. The good news is that there are also people that share the same thoughts; we can just fight for silly things and then look at the mirror and say "Okay wtf lmao am I doing" and maybe look for someone that can help the situation (Like in mine dragony friend and his cousin). Then we realise together that there's no point of anything like that, we are similar and we're all awesome <3 so we good frends~.

Tis shame that there are ppl that 'just don't want to help' and let things to scalate quickly. I know. Letting things solve privately is, IMO the most logical answer.
After all, when someone gets involved in a dispute that you don't belong to, things can either get worse or just improve; but it depends on how you approach the situation.

Do you approach both parties willing to help solve the issue, or just actually to join one side and point fingers? Like a whiteknight?

Oh please, stop the whiteknight bs. If you're willing to give time to join an issue, try to not come biased or at least give a chance to the other party and be more peaceful. If you come and show that you're clearly on the other side, you are likely to not get positive feedback!
I really hate when some whiteknight pops in, comes with his mind fixed on a certain subject, and absolutely refuses to change mind, 'because it's impossible to change the mind of someone that came in with the idea of just helping one side and not solve the situation'.

And then we yell at each other and they take it personal, lmao.
TBH I don't really like "Online drama". In the end it's stupid, but we don't often realise it while it's happening cuz "We're all heated" and we just want to "Yell" at the screen.

Granted, if someone is writing bad things about you, you'd want to reply. Not everyone is Ghandhi that doesn't care if someone is sh*tting on them. You can't be Mother Theresa unless you tryhard so much that you're Mother Theresa, in which case you won't be here on the internet doing things that don't change the IRL life of ppl (On most cases~)

Sometimes you may realise it's stupid nonsensical drama yet keep going "To keep honor" or "Cuz it's fun and I'm bored". Whatever you please. We all've been there I suppose. The more you learn the less likely are you to do these things.

When we are more young we do stupid things. Things that are absolutely non essential yet they're so stupid that someone that's older might facepalm.
Do you really need to get salty over a game to the point of actually insulting others and mining their mood?
Or after pointless fighting & drama have a permanent grudge towards someone that you haven't met IRL? Like well, if that's the case just give it some time, but not keep it for godamned months of year, cuz that's stupid and you're denying yourself and the other a beautiful opportunity to make things up, bonding up and actually having a better friendship cuz you overcame a problem with 'em and that's a huge step in friendship.
Those friends you overcame problems before get to grow to best friends, as there's more trust; and it holds true cuz of the friends I have currently. Those I had previous issues that were resolved, we trust more. Not always true, but there's that.

If you can avoid any issue or confrontation good. But you either want something to stick them into your mind, cuz if you haven't meet 'em yet, you want something to keep 'em on your mind. Just don't make drama for no reason lol, not good. Is stupid.

And if you get into drama, don't get grudges. It doesn't help the cause. Get someone to help both and mediate, solve things up peacefully. If you're forgiving and the other is, you'll get over the situation quickly and could get more friends <3.

Different state of mind maybe? Perhaps! And while that happens I'm sitting here wondering why some ppl just refuse advice and allow themselves to dig into their own hole. Sometimes there are some limits you must impose and be straight 'bout it. If you give someone 2 whole months to think 'bout their problems, give 'em advice on what to do, and they yet refuse a hand. Well, dunno buddy lol. I'm here if you want, but I won't bother you anymore. I want to see you better, but I can do so much. A point is reached where the only one that can help is yourself, and you need a more open mind for it.


And hey, in any case, you can always be Batman that just comes in when you least expect it, to help others, and then leave to do your own things.. To come back later and bring joy, albeit swiftly, to some ppl.  (tbh batman just beat bad people, you don't need to beat others, that's not gud, idk I never seen the comics lol... and the latest game is bad)

And these are my couch thoughts before sleep so I don't need to think mindlessly before sleep yet I will cuz I will keep thinking about things that I should write more.
I killed 4 or so maybe more mosquitoes because I left the window open, that made me slightly salty and I closed the window and it made some noise might made someone else salty but I don't care, cuz I'm here. And you're there, and you're awesome. (I'm not, I'm just a lonely, shy person that pretends to be a dragon online cuz it's fun and I like fun and hey its me ur brother)

If you read all that you get a cookie, honestly.  Who read this anyways? If you did dunno post something like "allahuh snackbar" and actually don't just scroll down to the ending cuz you expect some kind of fantasy spectacular showdown with fireworks and strippers. No.
It's just me, your bad joke. And I made you read some long text. For no reason. I am evil isn't it? Maybe that's why I don't get a lover! Who knows hahahah.

Okay. I should stop getting active and go to sleep. Because I totally need to wake up early to read the newspaper take some coffee and do absolutely nothing but to lie down on the floor and fall asleep again until it's lunch time. Or just get into the PC. Who knows.
  • Mood: Tired

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Sjru's Profile Picture
Sjru
Sjru
Argentina
Posadas, Misiones, Argentina

INTP / 22 / ♂ / 28th November-92 / Single~ looking maybe

Just a quite shy dragonite that studies music and sound, works in Steamrep, and made a stupidly big brony group on Steam.
I love to meet new people! Don't be afraid I don't bite!


There's a lot of things I can say about me, but I'd rather get asked 'bout them!

I'm generally quiet and don't start chats until I see that you are interested in me , so try to break the ice! If you want to chat, just add me on Skype or
Steam (But comment first!) love to make new friends !!
Oh, and despite what you may think, I don't have that many friends that I talk to~. Contacts =/= frends.

My favorite games are Dota2 and Civilization! (I only play coop on civ tho)

Also please note that I don't like 'weird' stuff, so don't try to shove me up your 'kinks' or I'll have a bad impression of you, thank youuu~ =3



For everything else just stalk my social media <3

I love questions and stuff, so if you want don't hesitate into asking me stuff! = D

Or just go to my tumblr or ask.fm!
I also have twitter, follow me ♥


▷Twitter◁ twitter.com/#!/Sjru_st
▷Tumblr◁ sjru.tumblr.com
▷Ask.fm◁ ask.fm/Sjrust
▷FurAffinity◁ www.furaffinity.net/user/sjru
▷Weasyl◁ www.weasyl.com/profile/sjru


Hope you have a great day =3~
Interests

Activity


I have these days; that I start by listening to a pump out song (Dunno "Wake me up" by Avicii like for instance works, shuddup <.>!!!), days which I barely sit down to watch a video or just chat; these days I play games, do things that require my attention, etc.

And then there are days that I kinda forget to get a pump out song and I get more sleepy, I put a video on youtube to like learn a subject or some of my fave youtubers then somehow I get more sleepy (and even I sometimes fall asleep cuz so boring, omg!).

The situation is reverted if someone messages me and then I get more active, and if I get more active and I put a pump out song I can revert my lazyness!

It's silly and dorky I know, I should not relax in front of the PC and fall asleep while watching a youtube video (Or anything at all). But hnggggggggg I'm too lazy sometimes!!

Like I need someone that slaps me in the face and tell me to work or be more active here. I do lots of things when online and on the PC, and honestly? Other than appointments, chores, 'exercise', etc, I don't go outside on my own for no reason. Cuz there's no reason. Being on 'a virtually small town' where you need a lot of money to go to the center of the town and do anything, doesn't help. And the matter of fact is that the general population of my similar age 'are in other thing'; that I don't share interests. And I won't 'drink alcohol and talk about sex' just to 'fit in'. I won't, don't like, is not what I want.

Being online just brings the best out of me (Still omg I have bad things I know! I want to improve!). But ahh don't think I'm a creepy basement dweller haha, I live in front of the river in a promenade of sorts, and I get view of it as my PC is on an open space.

Hey, the idea of actually not having any sort of electrical equipment of distraction on my bedroom IS A GOOD IDEA. Bedroom is bedroom, you go there to sleep. If you're a child or something you can use your place to play with toys etc. (Not like kids nowadays have toys <.> )
And it's been said many times that having a TV or your PC on the bedroom just hurts you.
There are some reasons why I fall asleep easily when on the bedroom (Except; and I quote, except if I go to sleep with many thoughts on my mind, if I don't solve these thoughts I keep thinking 'bout them for a long time! But eventually I fall asleep |3 )

I can name them; bedroom has soothing light colors (Namely, just light sky blue, not too light but more on the blue side, as to not distract you), good night lighting (Not completely darky sadly, but it works), and yes, there are some annoying noises from the restaurant that's next door (Whose kitchen is on the other side of the wall!). I got kinda used to it so it doesn't bother too much; (Tho I'm at the point that if there's no noise at all I get nervous and actually find harder to sleep, lel ~)  

And in any caseee!! If I want to sleep easily I can just grab a magazine or a book; bam, 10-15 minutes of read are enough to make me sleepy, unfortunate consecuence of being used to a "read before sleep" behaviour when I was younger. (Which also means that if I read a book or a magazine I fall asleep easily if I am not like being straight on a chair like on when I was at elementary school).

And then I see some friends have the insomnia, horrible sleep schedules (Mine is far from perfect on vacations, <.>!!!! ) or whatever due to stress. How lucky I am to have parents that worry!

Going to sleep while you have tons of things to do, worried for life, awful job, bad life in general etc, does give you insomnia, bad life. It doesn't mean you can try to fix it righto?  I tell 'em; "Well, you could try to give yourself a goal, an objective of why you're doing this, so you know that maybe you're suffering or having a good time, but for a good cause that will pay off in the end".

Many don't understand that having a goal/objective in life that hints you the direction you have to go is very important; otherwise like you're going around like a chicken without a head not knowing what to do and just living without foreseeing, which is bad honestly.

Yes you may live the "now", but if you live the "now" by spending all the money you get and not saving at least a bit, what you think might happen in the future? Better foresee some things.

And for me? I am being hypocritical; I don't have a goal in life. I am doing things without knowing what lies ahead, just living the now. Because as I said before, I "am to be here" finish studies and just work for dunno what. Maybe if I get someone to love I could, even on the internetz. Oh but why care for myself? There are others that I should care for!
There are some that hate me and I have to wait out the timeout, the 'turns' or for the relationship bar to recover like it happens on the Sims.

I guess for some the long life relationship bar got to like -40 or something, and maybe the short term one is at -60, and it might 'recover' towards 0 after an unindetermined amount of time that may be fastened or slowed depending on some factors that I may or may not know.

I dunno if I reached the "I want to kill you" point of things with anyone, maybe to the "holy hell I hate you so much I will block you instead of reasoning or talking because I can't tolerate any mistake and I like to be dramatic".
Definitely the last one lol, specially to the guy that I don't mention and for whose reason I was forced to leave a group chat on skype (I want to let him 'recover relationship bar faster' by gtfo there so he doesn't think to me and eventually and magically he 'would approach me' like some friends said there)...
Heh perhaps the balloony friend that said that "I'm a horrible friend" and stuck to that belief because his other friend told him to, just have the relationship bar at like -80 or something.
Like for no reason. I feel many things that happen are absolutely silly and not worth having a bad day for!

Yet I have a bad day for certain things. The good news is that there are also people that share the same thoughts; we can just fight for silly things and then look at the mirror and say "Okay wtf lmao am I doing" and maybe look for someone that can help the situation (Like in mine dragony friend and his cousin). Then we realise together that there's no point of anything like that, we are similar and we're all awesome <3 so we good frends~.

Tis shame that there are ppl that 'just don't want to help' and let things to scalate quickly. I know. Letting things solve privately is, IMO the most logical answer.
After all, when someone gets involved in a dispute that you don't belong to, things can either get worse or just improve; but it depends on how you approach the situation.

Do you approach both parties willing to help solve the issue, or just actually to join one side and point fingers? Like a whiteknight?

Oh please, stop the whiteknight bs. If you're willing to give time to join an issue, try to not come biased or at least give a chance to the other party and be more peaceful. If you come and show that you're clearly on the other side, you are likely to not get positive feedback!
I really hate when some whiteknight pops in, comes with his mind fixed on a certain subject, and absolutely refuses to change mind, 'because it's impossible to change the mind of someone that came in with the idea of just helping one side and not solve the situation'.

And then we yell at each other and they take it personal, lmao.
TBH I don't really like "Online drama". In the end it's stupid, but we don't often realise it while it's happening cuz "We're all heated" and we just want to "Yell" at the screen.

Granted, if someone is writing bad things about you, you'd want to reply. Not everyone is Ghandhi that doesn't care if someone is sh*tting on them. You can't be Mother Theresa unless you tryhard so much that you're Mother Theresa, in which case you won't be here on the internet doing things that don't change the IRL life of ppl (On most cases~)

Sometimes you may realise it's stupid nonsensical drama yet keep going "To keep honor" or "Cuz it's fun and I'm bored". Whatever you please. We all've been there I suppose. The more you learn the less likely are you to do these things.

When we are more young we do stupid things. Things that are absolutely non essential yet they're so stupid that someone that's older might facepalm.
Do you really need to get salty over a game to the point of actually insulting others and mining their mood?
Or after pointless fighting & drama have a permanent grudge towards someone that you haven't met IRL? Like well, if that's the case just give it some time, but not keep it for godamned months of year, cuz that's stupid and you're denying yourself and the other a beautiful opportunity to make things up, bonding up and actually having a better friendship cuz you overcame a problem with 'em and that's a huge step in friendship.
Those friends you overcame problems before get to grow to best friends, as there's more trust; and it holds true cuz of the friends I have currently. Those I had previous issues that were resolved, we trust more. Not always true, but there's that.

If you can avoid any issue or confrontation good. But you either want something to stick them into your mind, cuz if you haven't meet 'em yet, you want something to keep 'em on your mind. Just don't make drama for no reason lol, not good. Is stupid.

And if you get into drama, don't get grudges. It doesn't help the cause. Get someone to help both and mediate, solve things up peacefully. If you're forgiving and the other is, you'll get over the situation quickly and could get more friends <3.

Different state of mind maybe? Perhaps! And while that happens I'm sitting here wondering why some ppl just refuse advice and allow themselves to dig into their own hole. Sometimes there are some limits you must impose and be straight 'bout it. If you give someone 2 whole months to think 'bout their problems, give 'em advice on what to do, and they yet refuse a hand. Well, dunno buddy lol. I'm here if you want, but I won't bother you anymore. I want to see you better, but I can do so much. A point is reached where the only one that can help is yourself, and you need a more open mind for it.


And hey, in any case, you can always be Batman that just comes in when you least expect it, to help others, and then leave to do your own things.. To come back later and bring joy, albeit swiftly, to some ppl.  (tbh batman just beat bad people, you don't need to beat others, that's not gud, idk I never seen the comics lol... and the latest game is bad)

And these are my couch thoughts before sleep so I don't need to think mindlessly before sleep yet I will cuz I will keep thinking about things that I should write more.
I killed 4 or so maybe more mosquitoes because I left the window open, that made me slightly salty and I closed the window and it made some noise might made someone else salty but I don't care, cuz I'm here. And you're there, and you're awesome. (I'm not, I'm just a lonely, shy person that pretends to be a dragon online cuz it's fun and I like fun and hey its me ur brother)

If you read all that you get a cookie, honestly.  Who read this anyways? If you did dunno post something like "allahuh snackbar" and actually don't just scroll down to the ending cuz you expect some kind of fantasy spectacular showdown with fireworks and strippers. No.
It's just me, your bad joke. And I made you read some long text. For no reason. I am evil isn't it? Maybe that's why I don't get a lover! Who knows hahahah.

Okay. I should stop getting active and go to sleep. Because I totally need to wake up early to read the newspaper take some coffee and do absolutely nothing but to lie down on the floor and fall asleep again until it's lunch time. Or just get into the PC. Who knows.
  • Mood: Tired
So, the 'grand date' happened; 30th July, International Day of Friendship (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendsh…)

I guess very few notices or cares 'bout that date; I decided to personally use it as a milestone, to get a personal achievement of "at least" talking to those I used to talk but don't anymore.

A small group of 7 persons, (Which really just attempted to do with 4)
To name 'em, Storvius, Coldown, Gui, 7up, LD, Sebastian, Kipa.
I didn't try with the 2 latters, (Sebastian said I'm a horrible friend when it was kinda the opposite <.> and I won't force him; & kipa dealing with autism can't figure out that not everyone has to be 100% compatible with you to be your friend).

So first I'll tell the good news; much to my surprise, I got a random add on Skype, the guy's named Future, I didn't know who he was XD haha. Very funny and frendly he is!
So he told me he was Storvius cousin; and well, if you didn't know Storvius was the guy that DDoSed me and we had much issues with friends and was lots of drama anyways, was silly <.>

So figured would be the best opportunity to just forget everything bad and start again <3 after all it was friendship week!!
I admitted my mistakes, he did too. Yes; I know I said that is hard to forgive someone that does so much things; but the reality is, does it really matter?  When someone's honest, or at least, appear to be, in the emotional sense (Nothing money related sorry! I know 'bout scams haha), is it worth it to doubt 'em and leave 'em aside?
Well, not for me. I very much appreciate the opportunity to meet those that we had issues in the past, and just forget everything and never care 'bout it <3
After all, I consider friendship something very important in my life, things like these changed my life (At least online) in a good way and I know I give others the chance, even after many times, and I am someone that's willing to forgive big things.

And look at it, someone at first totally random helped me with a long time issue with a friend. Iam really grateful for it. And in the end, why would we care 'bout negative past? He (kinda helped) Storvius in the incident, but does it matter? No, it doesn't. Not for me.
What matter is the now and future.

So yes, forgiving is an important asset someone should have <3

Now, to the other side of the coin; which aren't that good things.
I'll say it again, I was stupid on the past (I am still am, supposedly less). I and we, everyone did mistakes, some big, some less. Like me & Storvius. Things happen. We can forgive, because after all, we're humans and we're bound to it. We don't live in the medieval era where the ppl spend their entire damned life with some old grudge between family that eventually end up in a bloodbath.

I suppose you may or may not have read my story 'bout my involvement on Steam (I suggest to read if, if anything...) but any case;

Things happend. First Coldown, some guy from spain that was very chill and first met me very happy 'bout knowing about friendship.
He kind changed after some time, but he always admired the ideals. Mostly because of his long distance love, that I think just affected him when it ended. Then some guy kinda changed his mind way too much, and eventually we parted ways. I think he just got dissapointed in some form, and now just simply acts weird. I wanted to talk to him, at least for this time.
But I just have one friend, that's not enough to help me fix the issue. It wasn't enough and  I think I won't be able this time~.
A total shame, but I guess he has his own issues; just hard I bet it is to restore faith on friendship on someone that just had lots of issues.

Second, 7up & LD; I know I'm clingy, but because I fear being alone. If I feel ignored by those I care about,  I just don't know what to do, and I might 'pester' 'em more than I wanted to, and I think in the end is more negative than positive, yet if I don't get feedback about it, I don't realise.
My naiveness and the neccesity of feeling attached just fooled me too much and it didn't end but being ignored by someone that was amazing friend of mine.
My main mistake, is that I knew that 7up was close friend of LD. I just didn't talk to him, to help things up. I didn't, I Didn't because I just dislike asking others for help, because in the past, things didn't work well if I asked others 'bout certain issues.
But this time, it didn't work out well either.
While I waited for positive feedback from LD, eventually I just ran out and made the mistake to just try to attract their attention by some journals, that unfortunately just scalated quickly into something I didn't want or foreseen in the first place.

I know things apparented sketchy because lots of things got mixed up, and some trolls picked up the fact the matter was public (It would have been private if I had managed to have private chats with 'em to solve issues, which well, never happened until the end for the simple reason that I was ignored).
I don't know if they don't believe me, (probably they didn't) in any case, I wanted to leave things behind.
Just that 7up took things personally and started hating me; might been reasonable for some time, but after time passed I just think is silly, since we're in a group chat on Skype, he acts normally, yet he doesnt' acknowledge me for it, and denied any petition to talk directly.
I dunno if it's that hard to get someone that can arrange chats, like it happened with my freinds. I dunno 'bout LD, I'm more interested on fixing things up with him.
But I think that noone has the will to help directly; because I can't on my own. It's my fault for just not being better friends, and just being shy there.
I don't know.
I was naive and stupid I know, but why they're not able to just forget and focus that we're all similar there, and there's no reason to just fight over the past, at least the way I did? Don't we believe in friendship also? We all do mistakes. Noone is without fault, we have to be humble 'bout it.

And last Gui; someone awesome I met on Steam, with lots of personal issues, we help with my friends and stuff, but I guess their personal issues hit too hard, and I figured out that "I'm here not for friends, just for games, yet I just want friends and not care" was not a good reason to be friends, so giving Gui time was fit.
Now that I saw Gui changed, I wanted to add again, but I get comments from Gui that "I'm awful" "I'm pathetic" stuff like that, which aren't true.
Some friends told me Gui just is afraid of hurting me; while that won't happen. I guess it's a matter of proving otherwise, but would be impossible if it's not a personal will on Gui, we'll have to see on time. I always believed in Gui that's why I didn't leave them from my personal group on Steam. I keep track of these details.
Question is, is it worth to keep this pace?

Everyone there have their own stories, summing everything up is already hard and I know I missed many details that I can't tell or just plain forgot. It doesn't matter either way; I am willing to give up any past experiences for you; but are you willing for the same?

If you tell me what I am doing wrong, I can correct it. I can't just figure out bad things until a mistake happen, and then fix it.
Noone's perfect right?

I doubt 7up or LD would read either way, and the other definitely no. But it's a good thing to note up. And definitely, if you realise the past, you will do your best to not repeat it!

Mind noting that the best friends I have right now on Steam we all had our issues, big or small, and that just help us to foster the bond. Because it helps <3

During my time here; I had lots of experiences, and I know what I did changed positively in the lifes of many, and while some were bad, most were good, and we can always change bad things to good things!

I would later write my involvement on things that aren't related to Steam, more heartwarming stories I bet, like how I got to meet awesome people on some now defunct site named Bronynet, etc.
Things got connected tho; and look were are we now!

As for now, I guess I enjoyed my friendship day, more negative things, I got a bit sad 'bout these things, I didn't get the support needed to solve these issues now and I dunno if I would. I really can't on my own, if I could things would be resolved already.

Personally I did some giveaway of games on my friendship group on Steam, seems good cuz ppl love free stuff <3 haha.
And now my parents are yelling at me cuz I want to stay late at PC even as I'm old aready <.>
oh boy. Life might not be perfect, might be alone, whatever, at least I know I help some, and I'd really love to be helped too.
Who knows. We'll see?
  • Mood: Tired
Is good day! by Sjru
Is good day!
Happy 30th july International Friendship day <3

:iconashtrol: was so nice that she drew my poneh <3


Friendship day is good ~
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This is a Steam exclusive behaviour, apparently; seems bit ranty, blabla.

so people come in and say "Oh he has added soo many people, I bet he has looots of friends!"

Let me debunk some rumours 'bout that; the Steam friend list, unless those that regularly 'nazi' their contacts, is like facebook, you 'aren't neccesarely' friends with everyone on the list.
Facebook calls the list 'friends' Steam does too. Are all of 'em your friends? Absolutely not! (Unless of course, you keep all things small).

Biologically we can't be friends (Or have regular contact) with more than 120 people and that even is a stretch, as for me? I 'may' talk to different array of people, but in the end, those that are close are like less than 10.
Talking "occassionally" doens't count.  Those might be some friends yes, but no way someone that I would miss that much if they dissappear suddenly.

And the shocking fact is if I don't start chats with anyone when I login,  the ones that might speak to me are even if I don't notice are like 4 or 5.
I really hate to be pushy or clingy, but I really dislike to be alone; while I may be always alone on the emotional sense, I still feel I am kinda not 'enough' on the friends area. I do tryhard sometimes to appeal to certain ppl, doesn't always matter, but for some reason ppl don't stick to me; and I guess is cuz I either get too clingy or I forget too fast.

I also know that cuz I get shy or dumb I end up not 'paying 100% attention' to others that may or may not expect the same to me.  Then I dissapoint others.

And then some hate me cuz of me being me? I don't know really. In the grand scheme of things seems that few stick with me :V and definitely I feel that noone would want me <.>

Eh... I suppose that in some way it is good that there's a very few number of ppl that definitely care if you're okay or not (And not just go around noticing when is opportune)

I see that it's easier to get "close" friends if you somehow are into the weird things others are (Roleplaying, kinks, weird games, etc.) and me being somehow 'kinda normal' in that area and just meeting ppl of a certain fandom (Namely furries/bronies) leave me kinda away from that.
I am going to be honest; really I don't get much 'click' with those that don't share things with me, and I have a sweet spot for those that are nice and like cute things (Or are cute w/e)
Like really, I feel more attached to those that like anthro, dragons, pokemon etc, than the "normal gamer" that, dunno, only games? I guess things are like that on the internet; bleh.

I 'do' feel that I want to meet more ppl to be friends, maybe close friends or more, yet I feel that it doesn't matter in the end cuz I don't feel appreciated about how I am.

Like, do I need to change personalitY? Be more 'rude' or 'kinky' (ew no pls) or pushy risky something?. I would hate having to 'change' just to get accepted, probably I won't really. But one never knows.

I end up feeling that I get close to others more fast than they do; and then I get sad when I find out they don't give a damn about me. I shouldn't feel attached to others unless they show, but I do anyways cuz I have a warped feeling bout friendship, which btw this 30th july is the international day and I have some weird ideas like talking to those that don't talk to me anymore at least once.


To sum up, I know I'm a horrible friend most of the time, that I'm just shy or get too clingy with others, and just forget 'bout others that don't talk to me, but may just expect me to do everything, and then just don't like me, idk. I'd love to improve but I guess I'm too dumb to take the first step on anything, and I end up expecting to find nice ppl that I can just get the hang on with, which doesn't happen (And that's why noone would uh want me idk).
Eh or I'm just being too dumb again haha.

At least if others use me I make 'em happy <3 that works too~

So yeah if you want to be my friend, you can! Just... don't expect me to notice that much unless we have things in common, if we have nothing in common to talk about, I just get weird and find nothing to talk about eh.
Who knows.
  • Mood: Nervous
Of things you like / dislike about me, you don't need to order or name all x)

Just be honest <3

(I need to improve >o<)
  • Mood: Lazy

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Comments


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:iconstreetdragon95:
streetdragon95 Featured By Owner 3 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Thank you very much for the watch! I really appreciate it and hope to show you more works in the near future :D
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Yay welcome =D 
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:icontail-maw:
Tail-Maw Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2015
Stalks u 
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2015
*is stalked* 
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:iconspazzyartist1999:
spazzyArtist1999 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the watch :D
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2015
Welcomes x3 a friend told me you did a drawing for him on steam c: 
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:iconspazzyartist1999:
spazzyArtist1999 Featured By Owner Jul 13, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Oh!
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2015
Yes =o

can I add you on steam? =o 
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(1 Reply)
:iconmudalaca00:
mudalaca00 Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2015
thanks for the watch ^w^; but didnt needed to
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2015
x3 is okay 
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:iconmudalaca00:
mudalaca00 Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015
no realy xD i hardly post stuff
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 12, 2015
you should owo!! 
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(1 Reply)
:iconpcstorm33:
PCStorm33 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the watch! Welcome to Eevee army?
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 6, 2015
x3 welcome~ 
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:iconsilnat:
Silnat Featured By Owner Jul 4, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Gracias por el watch =3
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2015
de nada =D 
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:iconkovii:
Kovii Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2015
+REP 
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jun 30, 2015
DRAGON <3 
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:iconp3r0:
P3r0 Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015  Hobbyist Digital Artist
THANKS FOR THE GIFT SJRU :squee: :hug:
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:iconsjru:
Sjru Featured By Owner Jun 29, 2015
XD welcome 
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